I have been recuperating at home following a long week of illness. I have deposited my children at their respective colleges, made the long -- and yes, tearful - ride home and upon my return home, I found myself sick, sick, sick.

The weeks leading up to my kids' departure were hurried and frantic. I asked a million questions, got the requisite "eye ball" rolls, was assured at every turn that "yeah, mom, I got it handled.." only to get to their campuses and have to make the trips that I knew I'd make to department stores and discount stores. Where is the cable for the computer? Why is there no toilet paper in the bathroom? Where are the 'thingamagingys" that hold up the shower curtain?

I was able (thanks to my friends who have college kids) to know when to turn and softly leave my daughter's dorm room. I sensed the right time to not go back into my son's new apartment home, allowing him to make the trek away from me on his own. There are times when being a parent is all fun and games and there are times when being a parent is just plain hard -- and for me, the watching of my kids turning into their own lives was just plain hard. They are eager and ready and oh-so-independent and this is both a victory and a realization: If the role of being a parent is to make oneself not needed, then perhaps I have done my job too well. I guess I've always been an overachiever. For no matter how you parse it, children leaving home is an ending, a death in a sense, of what has been so that what can be can start. I believe in the power of good endings so that good beginnings can follow. I'm OK with the tears that puddle up when I see the kindergarteners in tow with their moms at Staples. And yeah, that box of bouncy balls on my desk are there because they are my daughter's and no, they aren't going anywhere for awhile. Their brightness and resilience speak to me of her and no other desk adornment could be any more appropriate right now.

When I returned home with empty rooms and heavy heart I took sick with a terrible sore throat (strep) and stayed down for a good three days. And again, learned that the world can operate without me at the helm which was both reassuring and somewhat terrifying.

All this to say a simple design principle that I relearned during this chaotic and meaningful time: make sure during times of transition and stress that there is at least one place in your home or space that is yours and yours alone. I made sure before all this change that I took the time (and money!!!) to redo my bathroom and bedroom and it is in these rooms where I have found comfort and peace as my kids have texted me about the joys of their new life.

"You must have a place to which you can go in your heart, your mind, or your house, almost every day, where you do not owe anyone and where no one owes you--a place that simply allows for the blossoming of something new and promising."---- Joseph Campbell